why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
