My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
tell me about the eggs
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