I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
