She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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