It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
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Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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