Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
