Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
