i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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