so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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