I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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