oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I AM VODKA MAN
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to calm my uterus...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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