Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
