i just google imaged poop.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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