I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
only you would photoshop your dick
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
