I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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