Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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