I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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