she woke up with a sticky ear
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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