Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
