Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
this boner is exhausting
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
