I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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