I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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