Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
