seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
