Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My bed smells like the plague
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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