I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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