hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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