I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
