do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
