you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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