i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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