Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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