god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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