Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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