how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
