You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
