It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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