Just fell off a train. Bad.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
