i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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