Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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