I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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