After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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