i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
