I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
