just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I wear drunk well.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
