Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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