I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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