There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
