Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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