So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
