I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
