No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
