I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
