While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize