birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
