My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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