Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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