so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
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Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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