I cockslap morals
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
