my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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